Well mother’s day is tomorrow and while I am so incredibly grateful to be here with my mom and celebrating with her this year…I also miss my kiddo’s. Pretty honest statement that when you choose to move away and do mission work that your heart forever lives in two places. Part here, part there, forever and always. That’s hard to explain other than to say that when you choose to leave all those you love, you don’t do that part way, God creates within you an all or nothing kind of going. While your family and friends remain and you miss them so deeply, you know you were sent and asked to go to invite those folks into your heart as well and so God births another family for you there. I am grateful to my toes for both.
Today though I just need to take a moment to write a note to the ones who call me “Mami” with a joy and exuberance that warms you all over. The ones who want my shoulder to cry on when they’re hurt. The ones who want me to lay down with them at night and sing to them and pray with them. The ones who hug the stuffin’s out of me and it reaches my soul. The ones whose beds I’ve now knelt beside and begged the demons to flee and whose bedframes I have touched on a thousand occasions and asked God’s Spirit to hover over. The ones who’ve sat on my lap or kissed my cheek or grabbed my hand and reeled this girls heart in forever.
My dear ones,
Though you won’t be able to read this in English (perhaps Mami Ashley or Mami Karen) will read it to you, or maybe we’ll print a copy and read it to you someday when you’re older and can understand this better.
I just wanted you to hear today that I love being your Mami. I love when you climb up on my lap and just want to sit there cause it feels safe. I love when you smile at me and tell me you love me. I love when you hold my hand because you just want to touch mami. I love it when we play the “I love you more” game and you finish with your I love you to the moon and back in your little Spanish accents. I love singing Jesus loves me with you. I love our trips to town when it’s just you and I and we talk about things that matter to you. I love when you beg to sleep with Mami and we lay there before we fall to sleep and you just chatter while we snuggle. (those are some of my favorite times on earth). I love laughing with you. I love the moments when God allows me to pray with you and to hear your pure little hearts pray. I love to watch you praise Him when you sing with all of your hearts. I love to watch you being kind to the others that God has placed into our “Casa family.” I love when you bring home your papers from school and want me to have them. I love when you ask me repeatedly to sit with you at lunch or dinner or anytime in between. I love your hugs. I love your mountain of kisses game when you cover my cheek with your kisses. I love doing life with you and watching you grow and change and become the people God is intending for you to be.
While I’m away from you now and when I’m away from you in the future you need to know that a day will NOT pass when I don’t feel so incredibly proud to play the part in your life of “Mami Jenny.” When I get to Heaven after I have thanked Jesus for my salvation, I will thank Him for letting me be your momma when you needed one, and for using your sweet little lives to touch places in my soul I didn’t know existed. You have changed me.
You are precious to my heart and you are forever as close as my heartbeat and my prayers.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL OF YOU WHO PLAY THE ROLE OF BIRTH MOTHER OR THE ROLE OF MOTHER TO A HEART THAT NEEDS ONE. I’M FIRMLY CONVINCED NOW THAT THERE ARE MOTHER’S IN THIS WORLD WHO DID NOT GIVE BIRTH TO THEIR CHILDREN BUT LOVE THEM JUST THE SAME. THAT IS A GOD GIVEN GIFT AND JUST AS PRECIOUS. CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED AS YOU ARE A BLESSING MOMMA’S!!