Well Jeff is relentless in his nagging for me to write a blog with pictures about our experiences the first week he was there and I AM going to do that. Right now however I am far too busy eating monkey bread and sipping tea on the deck to have time to give in to his request for such things. :):)
I have been home for a week for my cousin’s wedding and various other things and that has been delightful. As is always the case, the time flies, you wish you had more time to spend with people, and you have those stinkin tears that are inevitable as you leave so many people that you love soooooooo much!! So it’s one of those days, and I’m sitting in this den I love, listening for God’s voice, enjoying the quiet with Him before I head back to Hondo tomorrow.
Here’s a blog I wrote a few days ago though and never posted. Seems sort of like it works for my heart now.
Well construction damage is almost over and things are starting to get cleaned up around the property and look as though someone really is going to live here and let kiddo’s play around here someday very soon! I have been looking around so much just thinking, oh man the kids are gonna love that, and I look at the playground and think lots of joy gonna come from this, and it’s just been fun to watch as the rains have come and it’s starting to “green up” around the place.
Something I’ve noticed as I’ve watched though over the past week or so. In our backyard there are patches of grass that are starting to grow and it’s starting to look more like a yard than a dirt pit.
Yesterday I was standing on the back porch and in one of those moments with God that we sometimes share, I looked at the yard and I saw these grassy patches that we’ve waited months to see and then I noticed it. Right there in the middle of the grass were these patches where the grass was not growing, where rocks still lay and forbid the grass to grow. Thought about the parable of the soil obviously for a few seconds and then I had to think about my own life. Thought about those places in my own life where growth hasn’t occurred lately and thought about the similarities.
If I’ve learned anything over the past 3 or 4 years of walking with the Lord I have learned this…if I don’t grow it’s because I have chosen not to, because I have hardened places within me to His voice and to His changing power. Because every single time I want to, really want to regardless of what that takes or requires, He has filled my life with opportunities to learn and ways to grow. I could write a book on those moments alone.
Yep ashamedly, I still have some rocky places in this heart where I’ve chosen not to let things grow. God keeps asking and I keep saying I want to and then my actions prove otherwise. I suppose we all could relate to that in some ways.
The biggest problem with having places still containing rocks in my heart is that God’s word says, “for out of the heart the mouth speaks,” and unfortunately if I allow them to remain within me, at some point when the pressure is on and stress is high and emotions go crazy, my rocks get hurled at others, from my heart out of my mouth. Then it’s not just rocky places in my heart, it’s my rocks being hurled at other people and leaving wounds because of the things I’ve refused to allow God to change.
Just wondered and asked Him, God when you look where are the patches of rocks that are not allowing the fruits of Your Spirit to grow in this heart?
Think our backyard was a good place for God and I to meet today. Funny how many times if we choose to be present He shows Himself in things we come in contact with every single day. Today it was the grass. Surely makes you understand that He desires to be present in our every day ordinary life huh??!!
May He find your heart a great place to plant a splendid garden chock full of His fruits!!